This was a community that I grew up with, from 11 to 22 (almost 23). I still talk with some people from way back when. These are the friendships and bonds that are unbreakable. Growing up, I was never a social kid. Instead I chose to play video games, specifically HL2DM. I always remember waking up an hour earlier so I could hop on a killbox server before school. Now, I'm graduated and only talk about this game is past tense. The first email account I ever made, thanks to xSeba is still the one I use today. My parents wouldn't let me have one back then, so xSeba helped me set one up. It's something I'll always remember.
I graduated in 2016, I posted a few times that year, but nothing substantial. Same with 2017. I've gained and lost so many friends since I first started playing here. I was a shithead growing up, and didn't fully realize it until i started reading my post history. I'm sure you guy's do that every once in awhile, because it's nice to reflect on mistakes in retrospect, it helps you grow.
Ant - I tend to not regret things, but there is something that I never really did, and that was apologize. Sure I have an apology post, but it was pretty obvious I only did that to better my standards with Ant at the time, so that doesn't count. I'd really truly like to say sorry. I probably raised Ant's blood pressure enough to kill him over a few times. We've played a few games since then, I'm sure he's had a blast listening to Rabbit and I bicker while playing GTA:V. Overall, Ant (and Nick) was someone who hosted a server for a game that we loved. For 2+ year's I was a shit head, and it's something Ill always carry with me, but I truly believe I should apologize for my behavior. I was a complete asshole as a kid, and it was no wonder I was banned for an entire year.
Aya - I'm sure you have moved on to better things. Going back through my old posts, I really do wonder why I turned into such a dick. 2012 - 2013 i was 14 and 15 years old. I'm surprised how much tolerance you had back then, because I would have slapped the shit out of myself for the things I said, and the actions I did. I'd like to think there's a timeline out there where we were good friends. So, I'm really sorry for all the grief I've caused you. Back then, I was out of line. I'm finally glad I can say this, because I always felt a little bad inside for everything.
Travis - This one is tough. Not only did I try to form a hate mob against you, but made some accusations that probably wouldn't be sustained in a court room. I think for awhile we were good friends, and I just think that I was going through a tough time. I took my anger out on you, and that's not ok. Hopefully, you are doing bigger and better things with your hand-eye coordination!
Anonymous - You know who you are if you're reading this. I've fucked up, you know it. I think there was a time period where we were always in the same server, sharing similar aspirations, and grinding. It's been almost 5 years now since we last spoke. I hope you are doing ok. If you want to re-add me, don't be a stranger. I really am sorry though, our falling out was mutual at the time, but I didn't realize what I was losing.
I don't want this post to be entirely made of apologies. There were many good and bad moments from me. I still remember the day I applied for admin here. I was quite literally 1 hour late on my application. I had to message Ant to reopen the forums so I could submit mine. I thought there was no way in hell I'd make admin. Firstly I didn't sound 15, because I lied about my age. Secondly, I barely met the minimum hour requirements. However, despite the universe being against me that day, I was accepted. It was my biggest accomplishment back then, and I was always so proud of it. I was standing tall along side other admins, such as Simplicity, ThornedCactoMan, and a few others. Eternal pushed for my admin app, and it was all the support I needed.
I think, I really did go a little crazy at some point. Maybe it was me just finding my way around in this world. I did mention I keep up with a few people still regularly. Figured they probably won't read this anytime soon, so I'm gonna shout them out.
- Demon - We've always gravitated around each other. Sometimes as friends, other times not so much. Still one of the best environmental artist I know!
- Rabbit - Good luck building your first PC. Also have fun with HL:A It was a blast!
- Probably not the best Idea, but EasSidezZ is someone I keep up with daily. I've supported his streams for 3 years now, and it's great to see him average 200 viewers a stream! Keep growing and aiming for that partnership
I remember pursuing a career in esports back in like 2013. I made a youtube account for it, and wanted to grind quake. Sadly, my career was a bit early and it never took off... until 2017 when Quake Champions was released. Not many people would recognize my alias now, but I go by xBio. While I never made it as a salaried player I did make some pro brackets, and have placed extremely well in prior tournaments. You can also find me on esports earnings! Sadly, I have lost a lot of interest in pursuing that much further. Quake, monetarily isn't something I could do for the rest of my life. I grinded an entire year for that game, and I can officially say I made it somewhere!
It really does seem like an odd coincidence. If you came from HL2DM you probably have, or will make something of your life. Look at one of the owners of OPSkins. His name was Tucker, and he would patrol RP servers spouting out crazy ideas. A_Seagull from OW started out in HL2DM. Sidezz (what EasSidezZ goes by now) has pretty much made it as a streamer. I'm sure if you come from this game, and reach for the stars you will accomplish it.
I know this post is getting pretty long. Kudos if anyone has read this entire thing. I do think it's important as a somewhat close community to keep each other updated on this stuff. I'll always be around somewhere. If you want, you can add my steam account. My friend code is: 139248282. I've mostly been doing content creation over the past 7 months, within Destiny 2 and Arena Shooters in general. I usually play Destiny 2 now though (F2P btw). It would be great to see others post their updates, if they've kept in contact with anyone, how they are doing, games they are currently playing, etc... This post got a little cringe but I'm ok with that. Hopefully you have all had an amazing 5 years
Edit: I completely forgot! A new Half-Life game came out. I played through that on my stream, and it was really an emotional experience. Finally some closure, until the next game. If you haven't played it yet I recommend doing so as early as you can, it's a masterpiece and a good way to reboot the series. That's all I really have to say now, stay safe everyone.
