It's story time, children!

[Xseba360]

*new story*
There were once 2 twins that always loved to play with each other and fight the evil in their minds. Their names were: Gordon Freeman And John Freeman.
As they were growing up, their father gave them guns so they can fight the real evil that is outside their little shack. After a few years of practicing, they became better, and finally came out and killed a monster that attacked their mother.
-Ooohh my dear sons... - said their mom while hugging them - I almost got raped by that bastardo!
-Np mom. - said John.
Gordon was just quite.
They heard a loud noice outside, so they went towards it.
It was a bigassdirtymotherfucking G- Man. The G - Man took Gordon into his huge ass hand and said.
-Muaahhahaa, you'll never save your brother! - he said.
-You never know! I'll save you bro! - said John.
Gordon just gave a thumbs up saying nothing.
G - Man went off to the woods with Gordon in his hands.
John came into their little shack, took the bathtub, wheels from their car when they we're 6 and stole the steering wheel from dad's rusty car.
He made a weird ass car, and went on his journey.
After a few hours he came by...

so a John/Gordon Freeman story.

so he went by a zombie and culdnt fight as he had no wepons. Countryside were NICE, plants were singing and the bird and the sun was almost down from the top of the sky. John Freeman knew he had to help his brother where he was and looked over the countryside and said: it's good day to do what has to be done by me and help my brother to defeat the e-n-e-m-y-s! John Freeman was late so he had to drive really fast. A cop car was hidden nearby and John came and the cop wanted to give him a ticket. And there John Freeman fought first monster as the cop was possessed and had headcrab on his head. John Freeman said 'i can't give you my license officer :​(' 'why not' said the headcrab officer 'BECAUSE YOU ARE HEADCRAB ZOMBIE' so John shot officer in the head and kept driving and said 'my brother is in trouble there' and went faster. John Freeman had to go faster like the speed of sound and got there fast because Gordon needed him where he was. John Freeman looked at roadsign that said 'RAVENHOLM' with someone's writing 'u sudnt come here'. So John Freeman almost turned around but heard screaming like Gordon so he went faster again. John got on his motorbike and drove up the ramp and did a flip and a flip once again and the motorbike landed on the headcrab zombies and John Freeman smiled and walked fast. John has looked on the ground and found wepon so picked it up and fired fast at zombie ghosts in front of a house. John Freeman said 'zombie ghosts leave this place' and zombie ghosts said 'but this is our house :​,(' and John Freeman felt sorry for them because they couldn't live there anymore because they were zombie ghosts so he blew up the house and killed zombie ghosts so they were happy then John Freeman heard another scream from his brother so he kept walking really faster to there where he was. Countryside wasnt nice anymore because plants werent singing and the pants were dead and the dirt was messy and bloody from headcrabs. Then John Freeman got to where the scream was started and he found his brother Gorden Freeman fighting their final boss and gordon said 'JOHN FREEMAN OVER HERE ;_;' and John Freeman went there to where Gordon Freeman was fighting. John Freeman fired his bullets from THE GUN really fast and bullet went and shot the final boss in the eye and the final boss couldnt see. Gordon Freeman said 'its time to end this ones and for all! ;3' and punched the final boss in the face and the final boss fell. John Freeman said 'thanks i could help, bro'. 'you should come here earlier next time' said Gordon Freeman and the laughed. They laugh over quickly because John Freeman yelled 'LOOK OUT, BRO!' and pointed up at the top of the sky. Gordon Freeman looked up and said 'NO, John Freeman run out of here as fast as you can! :​D' and John walked real fast out. John looked back and saw Gordon get stepped on by the next boss. John got mad and angry!. 'I'LL GET YOU BACK EVIL BOSS' John Freeman yelled at the top of lungs...

[commander fury]

Huhu, a story starring meh and meh bro Gordon He always been quite in game lol.

------------------------

So, Gordon was fighting another boss.John said, very loud, "FUCK OFF EVIL MONSTER !" and shot from his revolver in order to reach the monster's balls, but as Gordon was in front of the monster's ballz (monster was really big), and as the Gordon's pants were a little bit too big for him, he shooted a bullet trough the extra-size of the Gordon's pants.Gordons felt cold at his balls cuz he hadn't anymore tissue at this location, but the monster felt very badly when his testicles flied in the air and felt by a school bus full of teens zombies crying "AHHH swagga swaggaa haaaaaa", and all explosed.

Gordon was petrified, and John went next to him :

"All is allright, broh ?"

Gordon replied :

"Nice shot broh.Thanks.But next time try to not shot in the extra size of my too big pants.My huh-huh family's engines felt some cold hair now...theres a big hole in my pant".

-That's not a problem.Put this now !"

He picked a pant from a zombie and told Gordon to wear it.He did.

They went out of Ravenholm and decided to go to the west.
They did and after a whole week of walk they finally encountered their parent's ranch.
But there where nobody in it.
Then they heard horses outside.And several bandits all around the house.

-Oh shit, said John.

He fastly get to the 2rd floor and picked up an old Cowboy Rifle, shooted all the bandits from the balcony, but he saw 10 bandits down when he only shooted 4 bullets.
He get dpwn and saw Gordon with a revolver.

How much bullets did you shot ? asked John.

-2 ! Nice work up there ! - replied Gordon.

I only shot 6 bullet, what the hell ?..

They went out and saw 3 corpses more lying.

Then they saw a middle-aged man with alot of scars on a horse.He said "My name is John Marston".
Then John said : -Thanks you Mr.Marston !
Gordon stayed quiet.

They picked horses at the ranch, and they wlked along with Marston with badass clothes and alot of old rifles.
The three mates decided that they will search for the John's and Gordon's parents.Marston said let's go by the south, they were probably captured by Big Daddy.It's a very dangerous bandit.

So they rode along the desert, heading for the south, with badass western music and setting sun as background.

After 2 weeks, they finally came over the south, and Gordon said :

[cosmosgp1]

Huhu, a story starring meh and meh bro Gordon He always been quite in game lol.

------------------------

So, Gordon was fighting another boss.John said, very loud, "FUCK OFF EVIL MONSTER !" and shot from his revolver in order to reach the monster's balls, but as Gordon was in front of the monster's ballz (monster was really big), and as the Gordon's pants were a little bit too big for him, he shooted a bullet trough the extra-size of the Gordon's pants.Gordons felt cold at his balls cuz he hadn't anymore tissue at this location, but the monster felt very badly when his testicles flied in the air and felt by a school bus full of teens zombies crying "AHHH swagga swaggaa haaaaaa", and all explosed.

Gordon was petrified, and John went next to him :

"All is allright, broh ?"

Gordon replied :

"Nice shot broh.Thanks.But next time try to not shot in the extra size of my too big pants.My huh-huh family's engines felt some cold hair now...theres a big hole in my pant".

-That's not a problem.Put this now !"

He picked a pant from a zombie and told Gordon to wear it.He did.

They went out of Ravenholm and decided to go to the west.
They did and after a whole week of walk they finally encountered their parent's ranch.
But there where nobody in it.
Then they heard horses outside.And several bandits all around the house.

-Oh shit, said John.

He fastly get to the 2rd floor and picked up an old Cowboy Rifle, shooted all the bandits from the balcony, but he saw 10 bandits down when he only shooted 4 bullets.
He get dpwn and saw Gordon with a revolver.

How much bullets did you shot ? asked John.

-2 ! Nice work up there ! - replied Gordon.

I only shot 6 bullet, what the hell ?..

They went out and saw 3 corpses more lying.

Then they saw a middle-aged man with alot of scars on a horse.He said "My name is John Marston".
Then John said : -Thanks you Mr.Marston !
Gordon stayed quiet.

They picked horses at the ranch, and they wlked along with Marston with badass clothes and alot of old rifles.
The three mates decided that they will search for the John's and Gordon's parents.Marston said let's go by the south, they were probably captured by Big Daddy.It's a very dangerous bandit.

So they rode along the desert, heading for the south, with badass western music and setting sun as background.

After 2 weeks, they finally came over the south, and Gordon said :

"Why the fuck did that take so long?"
Gordon seemed to be stressed over the fact that it took over 2 weeks.
"I dunno. Probably because the author made it so long," replied John.
"Well I don't like this."
"Deal with it."

Suddenly, they were greeted by tall grass.
"Oh God, is this a Pokemon reference?" Gordon asked.
"We'll have to see..."

They took one step into the grass and all of a sudden, they found themselves in a Pokemon battle.
"Dammit John! I told you we should've taken the shorter route!"
"Hey, don't blame me! I asked you if you wanted to take the shorter or longer one!"
"Well you never told me that we would encounter this!"

A wild PIKACHU appeared!
JOHN and GORDON are still arguing!
PIKACHU is annoyed!
JOHN and GORDON paid no attention to PIKACHU!
PIKACHU fled!

"Dafuq was that?" Gordon said.
"Urgh, let's just get out of the tall grass..."
"Fine..."

They left the tall grass and saw a building out on the horizon. However...

[commander fury]

This was all a dream because in the Far West building doesn't exist, niether tall grass.
They woke up near a campfire, and they told each other their dream before Marston woke up and they laughed so loud that it made Marston woking up.
They rode horses again in order to retrieve the Big Daddy's cavern.They penetrated in a little town named "Springs six-deads" and asked to an inhabitant why it was named like this.The inhabitant answered :
-That's because two years ago, at the discovering of the town, few half fucked gringos got to the source, and *burp* got killed by a bandit, with six bullets, with a six-bullet barrelled revolver, because they was six.They died immediatly and as *burp* the town dident have a name before, our mayor who drank a little this day decided to name it Springs six-deads.
-Who was the guy who shooted ? asked John Marston and John Freeman in chor ?
-It was some kind of weird name...Big dick daddy...No, fuck, I mean, Big Daddy, just this.
-Ok.Do you know wheres he lives now ?
-In the Ronnie's ass, left corner..*burp*...
-Humm...who's Ronnie ?
-My fucking girl.I know her so *burp* *Marston kick the drank inhabitant in the face*
-Waddafak ? Why ?
-Now tell us.
-Ok, ok ! He lives near the Woodstone's Caverns.In a wood shack.With his gang.

The three mates, John Marston, John n Gordon Freeman bought some food, drinks, and rode horse in the direction of the Woodstone's Caverns.

But suddenly...

-----------------------------------------

Dont go in a pokemon trip pl0x, stay in da story for now plz

[Brotherhood Of Nod]

Gordon

That reminds me of the little troll gordon.

Spoiler

Show

*Warning, story Train rail is broken. Maintenance teams dispatched.*

______________________[ ]__________________________________________

*Story Train rail repaired. Resume story.*


As he rode in the night, his skin began to sparkle for some reason. Freeman was wondering why the fuck is he glowing like "one of those faggot vampires,why?". Then, after riding through the river that splashed water all over, he noticed that some prick threw glitter on him. Then, winds start to kick up...hard.
-Thunder is heard in the distant, as the cacti all around begin to shutter in the fear of an impending storm. Looking up into the clouds, lightning that struck cloud-to-cloud was not whitish...but greenish. Realizing that he is in danger, Freeman rode from the clouds as the lightning bolts from the terrible Ion Storm struck the ground with deadly force. Riding back into town, the Ion Storm looms over the nearby town that Freeman stopped by, and slept next to his horse's pen in an underground section of the town (very small, basiclly a makeshift shelter for any mexicans that were to come and attack).
-The next day, Freeman's balls hit hard onto the ground as he saw the entire town completely leveled. The cacti around the area were burned, the bodies were charred, large craters with huge rubble inside. He realized that kind of storm couldn';t have been natural, but artificially created...

So, after departing with a large amount of scavenged items, Freeman...

[commander fury]

Are you talking about John or Gordon Freeman there ? And y u totally ignore John Marston ? *insert y u no face meme here*.

-----------------------------------------------

After departuring with some scavengered items, John Freeman, Gordon and John Marston rode their horses again.They left the town to the desert and the sand.All around was quite.And hot.
-It's...Too...Damn...Hot...said John Freeman.
-Drink that, boy ! said Marston.How are you, Gordon? He asked to the Gordon guy.

Gordon just fell over his horse on the ground.
John F. get off his horse and get on his knees next to his brother, saying :
-What happens ? Hey, hey mate how are you ?
Then Marston came by with a water bottle, refreshed Gordon's face, this one got up and rode his horse again quietly.
The three mates didn't encountered any towns for several days.

John Freeman said :
-We are riding horses in the west since 3 weeks now.We was going on the right direction for the Big Daddy's hideout, heh ?
-I hope our parents are alright, broh John...
-I hope too,I hope...
Marston told them :
-Shut up ! And walk quietly ! See what I see at few miles in front of us ?
-A slave caravan ?
-Let's fucking free thoses poor black devils.
They rode horses and they get next to the caravan.
Then Marston holded out a revolver and hsot the drivers; they fell crying in front of them, and the wagon splashed their stomach all around.
The 3 mates free'd the slaves, gave them food ammo and guns, they freed the horses and scavenged the wagon.
-Here ; said Marston, here is a map where it shows the Big Daddy's location.Let's og there.Apparently thoses was Big daddy's slaves.

After two days they saw the big Daddy's hideout, at the top of a Canyon Mountain.
They climbed it.
Marston and John shot the guards by the rocks, while Gordon was placing dynamite at the bandit's barracks.
Gordon get back to the 2 mates and made the dynamite explosing.
All the guards were killed.Their barracks and the little wooden house was destructed.
They went to the main house and saw Big Daddy, with Anthony Clark and Nickki Sharmstroom, two high bountied bandits, in front of their shack.

Marston shot Big daddy.
John shot Anthony Clark.
Gordon shot Nickki Sharmstroom.

The 3 mates were happy when all the enemies, and particularly the 3 high-bountied bandits were lying on the ground, under the harsh sun.Each a bullet in the head.

Marston took pics to show to the next Sheriff and collect the bounty.

Gordon and John get in the shack, free'd their parents and hugged them while both where saying sweet words.During this time Marston went to a rock and drank beer while watching a Playboy Magazine.
After few dozens of mins, Gordon,John,Albert and Colette Freeman get out of the shack.Martson guarded them till the next town, where every side got a percent of the total amount of the combined bounties : $11000.

The Freeman family built a ranch and Marston a little shack near it.
Marston finally met the love with Anamaria, a mexican girl who freshly came from Mexico.

They all lived long and happy.

The End

-John Freeman.



--------------------------------------------------------------

Ok now guys you do what ya want with your new story, as this one is finished
Gg nice stories everyone.

[Brotherhood Of Nod]

The rain pounded on the roof, as the lightning struck the ground, throwing debris as far as 20 feet away. As the TV was on, tanks rolled on by, with marching boots drowning the noise from which Nod was supposed to hear from the television. Listening to much people crying for help as the soldiers in armor kick down the doors, Nod was tired of this. Grabbing his .44 Magnum and a satchel of remote-explosive bullets, Nod opened up his door to the random raids of the Global Defense Initiative's soldiers.

Hoping for the best, his point-blank shot rang through the soldiers and watching in confusion, the bullet explodes the nearby tank. All fearing that their fate would be of the tank, all the soldiers dropped their weapons and walked off as if it was nothing, but then...

[commander fury]

But then a Global Initiative Defense helicopter came in front of him.As he had a very nice level of agility, he climbed to the roof, jumped to the heli's windbreaker, opened it, killed the first pilot.
The second was faster and punched him to the face.Nod falled from the up of the heli, only stuck at the heli by one hand.
The pilot get standing up, erected his head at the moment where he was gonna shoot Nod's face with a revolver, but as his head erected, the blades of the heli beheaded him and he fell dead on the ground, brushing Nod and spraying blood everywhere as he fell.
As the unpiloted heli was going to crash, he took the commands and flied in order to reach the river between the storm, the lightnings and the heavy rain.The GID's soldiers and tanks and cars where everywhere taking the city out with hostility.
As they saw their heli piloted by an unknown citizen, their Major-on-ground, the major Zolbard, ordered to his soldiers :
(Now make the following pl0x)

[po0ka]

"Let him pass"
So nod could continue.
But suddenly, as he reaches the quarentine zone set by the army, he faces a big wave of pigeons.
They all flew thru the blades of the helicopter thus crashing the helicopter.
It was now the panic.
"Wtf wtf!! Help me!" He says on the radio.
And on the radio he heard;
"hey dude, shut up, we are watching cartoons!"
So he had to crash the helicopter in safety by himself.

Sadly, it wasn't the case, he got thrown off the heli and fell on a fence top, cutting him in two parts...


He opens his eyes... There is a bright light above him.
When he sees more clear, he noticed that he.......

[Brotherhood Of Nod]

Don't know who is piloting the Helicopter, but whatever.

...is in deep shit. The light was actually being casted off by an

Spoiler

Show

Orca Fighter who was patrolling the crash site incase of any scavengers. The squad nearby acted as death squads as GDI was cleaning up house after they thought the crash killed Nod.

Soon afterwards, GDI Bombers begin dropping loads of bombs onto the cities surrounding the area, to tie up lose ends. Xseba, bored out of his mind, entered the server (Reconnected by Ant) and noticed his clones are all dead. After realizing that he has stumbled apon a civil war, Xseba....

[Brotherhood Of Nod]

No more story time. Lock pls.

[po0ka]

Had enough? xD

I like how i've killed myself in the story to avoid being animated by the others c:

[commander fury]

Had enough? xD
I like how i've killed myself in the story to avoid being animated by the others c:

I likeid how Ana avoided his love story with the Ogre, lol^^

[[GR]Left4Ana]

Had enough? xD
I like how i've killed myself in the story to avoid being animated by the others c:

I likeid how Ana avoided his love story with the Ogre, lol^^

I DUN LIKE LOVE STORIES! I LIKE COMEDIES BIATCH! jk, without the biatch.

[commander fury]

whatwhatwhat Y U DU NO LIKE LOVE STORIES LIKE EVERY GIRL DOES dont say that you dont love twilight, even my super huge black monster friend does
its like a monkey that dont climb trees.
poor Ogre



jk.me too i like comedies.and i understand why they put dies at the end xD

PS : I died laughing at dis one even if it is a lil bit dramatic when you see the end and the real facts.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four_Lions yes cant send the trailer cuz youtube is making my game lagging